Becoming Her: Learning to Love the Woman I’m Becoming

When I picture the woman I’ve always wanted to become, I see a confident, thriving woman, mother, and wife who is able to help other women through the many stages of life. I see a woman who strives to display the qualities of Proverbs 31 and makes it her mission to walk in the fruits of the Spirit daily.

That woman looks a little different from the version of me a few years ago. Life has happened. It has forced me to grow, learn, create new habits, and figure out what actually matters—and what doesn’t.

And somewhere along the way, I realized becoming her isn’t about finally reaching some perfect version of myself. I’m already becoming her.

I Thought Becoming Her Would Look Different

When I was younger, I thought adulthood would look a lot more like the movies.

I assumed that once you became a woman, you automatically had life figured out. By a certain age, your career would be established, you’d know exactly what you were doing, and everybody would pretty much follow the same cookie-cutter timeline.

Then I actually became an adult.

One of the biggest things womanhood has taught me is that everyone’s life, purpose, and path are different. And honestly, life would be so boring if all of our stories looked the same.

It also surprised me to learn that even women I admire have stories. They’ve experienced setbacks, uncertainty, lessons, and seasons of figuring things out too.

There are still things I thought I would’ve mastered by now—especially overthinking and getting in my own way—but I’m learning.

Giving Myself the Grace to Grow

I’ve been hardest on myself during seasons that were completely outside of my control.

I’ve also been hard on myself when I put myself out there, life happens—or I simply get in my own way—and I stop showing up for myself the way I know I should.

But I’ve had to ask myself something:

If God gives me grace and brand-new mercies every day, why wouldn’t I extend some of that grace to myself?

Constantly beating myself up leaves very little room to actually grow.

Making mistakes, changing, starting again, and learning as I go are inevitable parts of life. Instead of being ashamed of those moments, I’m learning to embrace them as part of the transition into the woman I’m becoming.

The Little Things Are Changing Me

I’m realizing that becoming the woman I want to be happens in the little things.

It’s spending time with God and really getting into His Word. It’s getting out of bed and deciding to take on the day. It’s getting dressed, keeping my home clean and cozy, creating, writing, and spending time with the people I love.

It’s learning discipline—financially, spiritually, and physically.

It’s intentionally protecting my peace.

None of those things seem huge on their own, but together they’re shaping my habits, my character, and ultimately my life.

Learning to Love the Woman I’m Becoming

Beautiful things don’t have to be rushed.

I’m learning to slow down, be present, and embrace where I am right now instead of constantly thinking about where I need to be next.

Growth in this season looks like diligently seeking God every day and simply trying to be better than I was before. It means reflecting on the areas where I know I can improve—and then actually doing something about them.

I’m working on not becoming frantic over things I can’t control. I’m releasing the pressure to be perfect, learning to be less hard on myself, and celebrating the small wins along the way.

Because those small wins count too.

To the Woman Who Is Becoming, Too

If you feel like you’re not where you want to be yet, look at where you are right now.

Is there something in your current life that you once prayed for?

Don’t become so focused on what’s next that you forget to tell God thank You for what’s already here.

Just as you arrived at this season faster than you probably realized, another season will come too. Keep growing. Keep showing up. Keep operating in good faith. And give yourself permission to appreciate the woman you are today while working toward the woman you’re becoming.

Maybe becoming her isn’t about waking up one day as a completely different woman.

Maybe it’s realizing that every small decision, lesson, restart, and little bit of growth is already turning you into her.